turns out i cannot really stay cool till the very end, that a long time ago i only had 2 choices,

could have worried all summer long and found myself amazingly calm before the results, because the panicking had been done with, or i could have remained impressively stoic until today where i find myself typing nervously at the computer, able to hear my heartbeat through my ears.

recollecting now, i think we all did both

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(although all recollections are false and are how we see the past in the present light)

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ramble ramble scramble