something occured to me while i was reading.
'In the same year [1524] Riga also witnessed a pioneering but extreme example of the grim humour of iconoclasts as they humiliated objects formerly credited with power. A much-venerated statue of the Virgin Mary in the Cathedral was denounced as a witch, uprooted and ducked in the river Dvina: since the wooden object floated, the evangelical revellers pronounced it guilty and burned it at Kubsberg, the customary place to punish witches...'
--- Diarmaid MacCulloch, Reformation: Europe's House Divided 1490-1700 (London, 2003), p. 155
does this ssound familiar?
***
A village. Sound of chanting of Latin canon, punctuated by short, sharp cracks. It comes nearer. We see it is a line of MONKS ala SEVENTH SEAL flagellation scene, chanting and banging themselves on the foreheads with wooden boards. They pass a group of villagers who are dragging a beautiful YOUNG WOMAN dressed as a witch through the streets. They drag her to a strange house/ruin standing on a hill outside the village. A strange-looking knight stands outside, SIR BEDEVERE.
FIRST VILLAGER: We have found a witch. May we burn her?
ALL: A Witch! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?
ALL: She looks like one. Yes, she does.
BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.
They bring her forward - a beautiful YOUNG GIRL (MISS ISLINGTON) dressed up as a witch.
WITCH: I am not a witch. I am not a witch.
BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
ALL: We didn't, we didn't!
WITCH: This is not my nose, It is a false one.
BEDEVERE takes her nose off.
BEDEVERE: Well?
FIRST VILLAGER: ... Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE: The nose?
FIRST VILLAGER: And the hat. But she is a witch.
ALL: A witch, a witch, burn her!
BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?
FIRST VILLAGER: ... Um ... Yes ... no ... a bit ... yes... she has got a wart.
BEDEVERE: Why do you think she is a witch?
SECOND VILLAGER: She turned me into a newt.
BEDEVERE: A newt?
SECOND VILLAGER (After looking at himself for some time): I got better.
ALL: Burn her anyway.
BEDEVERE: Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
ARTHUR and PATSY ride up at this point and watch what follows with interest
ALL: There are? Tell up. What are they, wise Sir Bedevere?
BEDEVERE: Tell me ... what do you do with witches?
ALL: Burn them.
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
FOURTH VILLAGER: ... Wood?
BEDEVERE: So why do witches burn?
SECOND VILLAGER (pianissimo): ... Because they're made of wood...?
BEDEVERE: Good.
PEASANTS stir uneasily then come round to this conclusion.
ALL: I see. Yes, of course.
BEDEVERE: So how can we tell if she is made of wood?
FIRST VILLAGER: Make a bridge out of her. BEDEVERE: Ah ... but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
ALL: Ah. Yes, of course ... um ... err ...
BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
ALL: No, no, It floats. Throw her in the pond. Tie weights on her. To the pond.
BEDEVERE: Wait. Wait ... tell me, what also floats on water?
ALL: Bread? No, no, no. Apples .... gravy ... very small rocks ...
ARTHUR: A duck.
They all turn and look at ARTHUR. BEDEVERE looks up very impressed.
BEDEVERE: Exactly. So... logically ...
FIRST VILLAGER (beginning to pick up the thread): If she ... weighs the same as a duck ... she's made of wood.
BEDEVERE: And therefore?
ALL: A witch! ... A duck! A duck! Fetch a duck.
FOURTH VILLAGER: Here is a duck, Sir Bedevere.
BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales.
He leads them a few yards to a very strange contraption indeed, made of wood and rope and leather. They put the GIRL in one pan and the duck in another. Each pan is supported by a wooden stave. BEDEVERE checks each pan then ... ARTHUR looks on with interest.
BEDEVERE: Remove the supports.
Two PEASANTS knock them away with sledge hammers. The GIRL and the duck swing slightly but balance perfectly.
ALL: A witch! A witch!
WITCH: It's a fair court.
ALL: Burn her! Burn her! Let's make her into a ladder
..... and so on
[from http://mzonline.com/bin/view/Python/HolyGrailScene5]
this scene, of course, is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
***
and before i forget, aardvarks live in a symbiotic relationship with a species of melon, whose seed coats need to be broken down by the grinding action of the aardvark's gut before its seeds can actually germinate. the aardvark, living in a dry environment, benefits from the water stored in the melon.
***
i make no apologies for the derivative nature of this post. if anyone's noticed, it's post #200. 100 posts ago, we made the claim that if this post should be about aardvarks, it would be a sign that the blog had entered into an irreversible decline and needed to be stopped.
i have therefore fulfilled the prophecy. (haha, i make no apologies for the ex post facto reasoning either.) as such, having delayed going officially on hiatus until i could find something remotely entertaining for post #200, i now announce that i will stop blogging - for the time being. until kai starts, i suppose, SINCE THE NEXT POST IS HIS. hah.
***
to shawn: i've forgotten about the wheelchair incident. so, sorry, no 'more on wheelchair bound kinkiness'. ;p
'In the same year [1524] Riga also witnessed a pioneering but extreme example of the grim humour of iconoclasts as they humiliated objects formerly credited with power. A much-venerated statue of the Virgin Mary in the Cathedral was denounced as a witch, uprooted and ducked in the river Dvina: since the wooden object floated, the evangelical revellers pronounced it guilty and burned it at Kubsberg, the customary place to punish witches...'
--- Diarmaid MacCulloch, Reformation: Europe's House Divided 1490-1700 (London, 2003), p. 155
does this ssound familiar?
***
A village. Sound of chanting of Latin canon, punctuated by short, sharp cracks. It comes nearer. We see it is a line of MONKS ala SEVENTH SEAL flagellation scene, chanting and banging themselves on the foreheads with wooden boards. They pass a group of villagers who are dragging a beautiful YOUNG WOMAN dressed as a witch through the streets. They drag her to a strange house/ruin standing on a hill outside the village. A strange-looking knight stands outside, SIR BEDEVERE.
FIRST VILLAGER: We have found a witch. May we burn her?
ALL: A Witch! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?
ALL: She looks like one. Yes, she does.
BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.
They bring her forward - a beautiful YOUNG GIRL (MISS ISLINGTON) dressed up as a witch.
WITCH: I am not a witch. I am not a witch.
BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
ALL: We didn't, we didn't!
WITCH: This is not my nose, It is a false one.
BEDEVERE takes her nose off.
BEDEVERE: Well?
FIRST VILLAGER: ... Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE: The nose?
FIRST VILLAGER: And the hat. But she is a witch.
ALL: A witch, a witch, burn her!
BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?
FIRST VILLAGER: ... Um ... Yes ... no ... a bit ... yes... she has got a wart.
BEDEVERE: Why do you think she is a witch?
SECOND VILLAGER: She turned me into a newt.
BEDEVERE: A newt?
SECOND VILLAGER (After looking at himself for some time): I got better.
ALL: Burn her anyway.
BEDEVERE: Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
ARTHUR and PATSY ride up at this point and watch what follows with interest
ALL: There are? Tell up. What are they, wise Sir Bedevere?
BEDEVERE: Tell me ... what do you do with witches?
ALL: Burn them.
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
FOURTH VILLAGER: ... Wood?
BEDEVERE: So why do witches burn?
SECOND VILLAGER (pianissimo): ... Because they're made of wood...?
BEDEVERE: Good.
PEASANTS stir uneasily then come round to this conclusion.
ALL: I see. Yes, of course.
BEDEVERE: So how can we tell if she is made of wood?
FIRST VILLAGER: Make a bridge out of her. BEDEVERE: Ah ... but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
ALL: Ah. Yes, of course ... um ... err ...
BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
ALL: No, no, It floats. Throw her in the pond. Tie weights on her. To the pond.
BEDEVERE: Wait. Wait ... tell me, what also floats on water?
ALL: Bread? No, no, no. Apples .... gravy ... very small rocks ...
ARTHUR: A duck.
They all turn and look at ARTHUR. BEDEVERE looks up very impressed.
BEDEVERE: Exactly. So... logically ...
FIRST VILLAGER (beginning to pick up the thread): If she ... weighs the same as a duck ... she's made of wood.
BEDEVERE: And therefore?
ALL: A witch! ... A duck! A duck! Fetch a duck.
FOURTH VILLAGER: Here is a duck, Sir Bedevere.
BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales.
He leads them a few yards to a very strange contraption indeed, made of wood and rope and leather. They put the GIRL in one pan and the duck in another. Each pan is supported by a wooden stave. BEDEVERE checks each pan then ... ARTHUR looks on with interest.
BEDEVERE: Remove the supports.
Two PEASANTS knock them away with sledge hammers. The GIRL and the duck swing slightly but balance perfectly.
ALL: A witch! A witch!
WITCH: It's a fair court.
ALL: Burn her! Burn her! Let's make her into a ladder
..... and so on
[from http://mzonline.com/bin/view/Python/HolyGrailScene5]
this scene, of course, is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
***
and before i forget, aardvarks live in a symbiotic relationship with a species of melon, whose seed coats need to be broken down by the grinding action of the aardvark's gut before its seeds can actually germinate. the aardvark, living in a dry environment, benefits from the water stored in the melon.
***
i make no apologies for the derivative nature of this post. if anyone's noticed, it's post #200. 100 posts ago, we made the claim that if this post should be about aardvarks, it would be a sign that the blog had entered into an irreversible decline and needed to be stopped.
i have therefore fulfilled the prophecy. (haha, i make no apologies for the ex post facto reasoning either.) as such, having delayed going officially on hiatus until i could find something remotely entertaining for post #200, i now announce that i will stop blogging - for the time being. until kai starts, i suppose, SINCE THE NEXT POST IS HIS. hah.
***
to shawn: i've forgotten about the wheelchair incident. so, sorry, no 'more on wheelchair bound kinkiness'. ;p
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